Information for Parents

When you discover your child is being bullied, you may feel a variety of emotions, from anger to fear to sadness. These reactions and emotional responses are natural for parents who want their child to feel valued, protected, and loved. To become an effective advocate for your child, it is important to acknowledge your emotions and then focus on developing an action plan to help your child.

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Talk with your Child 

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When you first talk with your child about bullying, be prepared to listen without judgment, and provide a safe and supportive place where your child can work out his or her feelings. Children may not be ready to open up right away as they, too, are dealing with the emotional effects of bullying and may be feeling insecure, frightened, vulnerable, angry, or sad. When your child begins to tell their story, just listen and avoid making judgmental comments. It’s important to learn as much as possible about the situation, such as how long the behavior has been happening, who has been involved, and what steps have been taken. Encourage your child to talk, and let them know they are not alone and you are there to help.

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Make sure your child knows:

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• It is NOT their fault. They are not to blame.

• They are NOT alone. You are here to help.

• It is the adults’ responsibility make the bullying stop.

• Bullying is never okay and they have the right to be safe.

• No one deserves to be bullied.

• They deserve to be treated with respect.

• They have the right to feel safe at school.

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"When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time."

Support and empower your child

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After hearing your child’s story, empower them to create an action plan to help stop the bullying. Talk with your child about ways you can support them as well as intervention strategies they can use, such as working with the school or advocating on their own (Refer to the Self-Advocacy Blog for ideas). Creating a plan that works with your child’s strengths and abilities can help build self-confidence and resilience. Make sure to share these agreed-upon strategies with those involved in your child’s life, such as teachers, coaches, and other adults who interact with your child on a daily basis.

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Learn your rights

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Check your state’s legislation on bullying. Each state has different laws and policies on bullying, along with requirements on how schools should respond. Visit StopBullying.gov to find out the laws your state has put in place. Also, check your state’s Department of Education website for a state Safe Schools Office, which can be a great local resource to learn more about your state and school’s policy. You may also want to look up your child’s school’s policy on bullying.

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Think through who else should be involved

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In addition to being supportive and empowering your child to write down a plan, it can be very helpful to document the steps that you plan to take or have already implemented. Written records provide a history of incidences and responses, which can be very helpful when addressing the issue with school administrators or law enforcement. You should also create a strategy for how to involve others that can help your child. This might include determining who you will contact at school, what you plan to ask them, and how you will be involved. Other options include contacting a school counselor or other health professionals for advice. If the situation doesn’t change, your plan might include steps to contact local law enforcement or legal counsel.

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Cyberbullying Information for Parents:

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